i was born a porn star she said
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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