Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
