I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
