She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
