when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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