U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
