Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
