Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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