i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
