party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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