She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
