Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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