you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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