I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
