I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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