Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
