Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
