Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize