I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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