just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i think my tv is drunk
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
