i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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