Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
