I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
