If that was your dad, he is hot
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
