are you so shy because you have an std?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
