I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize