What did we do last night that was yellow?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
