Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize