Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
