My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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