Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
