I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
