I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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