Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
