is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
