Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
it's like iHOP with fire
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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