Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
