No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
