You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
