sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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