Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
