One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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