Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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