I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
