I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
