this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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