thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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