did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
