And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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