like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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