I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
