I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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