I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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