lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i would punch a child for taco bell
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
