I am puke
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
