She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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