apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He passed out mid-signature
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
