i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
