CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
