her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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