You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
