Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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