New low: just hacked my moms facebook
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize