i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
