its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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