is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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